Log in

It doesn't always have to be about me..Does it?! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ website | some more interesting stuff ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

sigh [Dec. 23rd, 2007|05:44 pm]
Im so tired of how I act sometimes, but I feel like its not all my fault.

I get so jealous..but I feel like I have no confidence in myself.
I don't get any appreciation or compliments whatsoever from him.
I love him with all my heart. I just want respect.
BUT then I am reading this book (Become the woman of his dreams) and it is saying how I should respect him and pray for him daily and just appreciate him. I just get tired of doing it all and then I get to the end of my rope and I just explode.

I feel like I am such a differnt person than I was when I was in IL and in college.
I am more depressed and more jealous then I ever was.
I have been praying that God would deliever me from this, but I just wish my husband was more spiritual and more uplifiting. But I married him because I love him and I need to accept the qualities he has and uplift him and believe that God will help us become a stronger family and that I will be a wonderful wife to him.

I can't believe Christmas is around the corner!

I got a lot of things for Robby , but I don't think I spent as much as he did on me.
I hate when that happens. :-) Even though Im excited of what he is getting me (most of it is surprises.)

katy is going to be 3 mths on Jan 3rd. I can't believe it!
She is such the light of my life right now. I can't believe I have 2 wonderful blessings!!

Well I got to get ready for a christmas dinner/play.
Link2 comments|Leave a comment

SO ready [Dec. 10th, 2007|01:18 am]
To start back on here.

I need somewhere to go to vent even if Im the only one who reads it.

LinkLeave a comment

Life in a Nutshell [Sep. 1st, 2006|07:35 pm]
Well today is my last day here at VGT (where I have worked for the last 2 years) I know that might not seem that long, but I think it was enough to build some good friendships
I will have no internet access all next week.
We are heading out on a cruise Monday SEPT 4th.
And I am engaged and I will be jobless for a little bit.
So that is my life right now in a nutshell.
Im pretty much more on myspace then anything
you can catch me there.

love to all
Link3 comments|Leave a comment

also [Jul. 13th, 2006|03:25 pm]
I didn't mention that i won't be going to IL next week.
Matthew's dad dropped the motion to want full custody..
So we are just working on the OTher issues: such as visitation , ect.
So I wanted to make that clear. :-)
LinkLeave a comment

Sweat [Jul. 13th, 2006|03:14 pm]
[Current Mood |hothot]
[Current Music |Geron Davis choir]

Im glad I dont' wear makeup much to work.
Its like really hot in here and Im not even working hardly to build one up. I know thats gross, but I hate feeling this way.
My one tasks that is on the top of my list when I get home: take another shower.

Well this week has had its UPS and downs for sure!!
One thing Im proud of myself with is: I have been really cleaning up my house since I have been home. I get tired of coming home to a messy house!! But IM never home..so I have made it to where even if Im doing something after I work, I head straight home after I am done with whatever and take one room and just clean.
I have cleaned my kitchen, bathroom , and have straightened up my living room some.
I need to really work on my closet in my room and finish up matthew's room so I can either sell his toys or give them to good will!!

Monday was just a rough day all around, I got a call from my lawyer making me start planning a trip to Illiois for next week because it looked like matthew's dad wanted to still pursue for full custody.
Then I get to the car dealership and I want to just tell them I need to wait on my decision on buying a car.. so they said that was fine. People I need a car so bad. I cannot depend on my car anymore.
So Robby has been helping me look at cars while he is up in TN this week and I will be heading up there tomorrow sometime to look at the cars he has picked out and so hopefully I will come up with a new car to me (it will be used)

Yesterday night was my first night in the choir at Praise Cathedral. I have changed churches. So Im trying to get settled in at my new church. I was really excited to be in the choir rehersal last night , to just enjoy singing with this great choir and also feel the annointing!!

This weekend we will be in charolette. We will be singing at two churches. One on Saturday night, the other sunday morning.
So I have to come home and pack after work and finish cleaning my house. Anyways I talked to matthew one time this week, Tried calling yesterday and I think the day before and no answer!
Im just ready for him to come home so I can spend time with him!! And get him ready for 1st grade.

We also got the cruise coming up that I have been paying for it!!
So Im looking forward to that too!!
Well I think Im done with updating.
I just wanted to tell everyone what I was doing ..
Also you can check out my mypsace
and the myspace that my group has.
love to all
LinkLeave a comment

Survey time [May. 31st, 2006|01:29 pm]
When showering, do you start the water and then get in or get in and start the water?
Start the water

Do you read the labels on the shampoo bottle?
I have before

Do you moan in the shower like the people on the herbal essence commercial?
not so much

Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?
NO !

Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings?
when we were little

Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
no that is just gross

Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot?
Yes that pretty much hurts

8.) How old do you look?
I think I look younger than 23

How old do you act?
sometimes like an old woman , sometimes like a kid, depending on the mood

What's the last song you sang?
Girl by beck, singing a long

Have you recently become a member of anything?
I don’t think so

What are your plans for the weekend?
Watching movies and doing a lot of singing at churches

Do you kiss with your eyes opened or closed?
pretty much closed

Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull?
no, but i have always wanted to!

Do you ever intentionally vomit after eating?
i have never done that even if I felt like it

If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most likely be?
umm one of the pirates

Have you ever called anyone a ........?
a what?

Have you ever been called a ........?
a blank?? sure..

Have you ever smuggled something into America?
food I think

Does playing a guitar make someone more attractive?
oh yeah!

Do you live in a city with a good sports team?
close, Carolina panthers, if you consider them good

Have you ever finished off the popcorn?
yes if my matthew is helping me

. How many people do you think would come to your funeral?
who knows?

How many of them would come just to make sure you're dead?
wow who knows again

.Do you have more enemies or more friends?
I would hope not

Have you ever sent an anonymous letter?

Can you fix your own car?
I can check the fluids , that’s about it

Have you ever turned someone down for a date?

Are you smarter than your friends?
umm probably not so much

Have you ever stolen anything from your friends?
i dont think so.......

Have you ever been to jail?

Do you like the smell of beer?

Have you ever died or killed someone in a dream?

Have you ever given to charity?

Would you kill a dog for $1000?
if it was vicious and attacking me! (same here)

Do you sometimes get depressed?
yeah. Who doesn’t someone that is on a happy pill 24/7

Do you live with your parents?
no, I love them, but its not for me anymore

Do you have plans for your future?
just dreams, is that ok?


Two Names You Go By Other Than Your Real Name:
Les, LD

Two Parts of Your Heritage:
german, english

Two Things That Scare You:
bugs, being in dark, enclosed spaces

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
sandles , capris

Two Things You Want in a Relationship other than Real Love:
communication (who doesn’t) respect

Two Things that Appeal to You In a Guy/Girl:
humor (making me laugh) , intelligence

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
sports, reading

Two Things You Want Really Badly:
losing weight, lots of money

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
lots of money (again) and maybe another child

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now:
sleeping, future

Two people I haven't talked to in a while:
grandparents in Texas, Sarah

Two favorite animals:
dogs, horses

Two Reasons you're doing this survey:
im trying to pass the time, didn’t want to do work at the time

How many pairs of jeans do you own?:
like 10

What color do you wear most often?
wear a lot of black even though I don’t try to do that, and blue

Least favorite color?:
? to wear: orange

Last song heard on the radio?
I listened to a little bit of the ruppes on my tape in my car and Rush Limbaugh on the way back to work

Are you happy with your life right now?
for the most part

Who did you last call on your cell phone?
it says the last outgoing call I did was voice mail

[Do you own a...]

- PS2?: no

- XBOX [360]?: no

- PSP?: NO

-Gamecube?: NO



Do you shop at stores like Hollister, Abercrombie?
most of the times: NO

Last thing you bought over 50 dollars?
clothes (all together) last night

How's the weather?:

when do you start summer break?:
technically, im on it!

Are you missing someone right now?:

What chores do you have around the house?
clean house, laundry

One word to describe you:
laid back

Do you find yourself attractive?:
sure , or should I say I try to make myself look attractice

Why is the first person in your Top 8 in the spot?
Monte , cause she is my hero

What would you rather be doing right now?:

What should you be doing right now?
organizing casino tickets in order

Who did you hang with today?:
people at work I guess

Q: How many beds did you lay in yesterday?
just mine

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?

Q: Name one thing that you do everyday?
eat (too much)

Q: Whats the color of your bedroom walls?
dingy white

Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?
loose change......i never have cash on me

Q: Whats your favorite sport?
baseball, football, basketball, hockey

Q: I cant wait till..?
some more singings this weekend and watch more 24

Q: When was the last time you saw your dad?
thanksgiving of last year

Q: Who got you to join myspace?
I can’t remember, it was someone

Q: Tom on your friends list?
I think I deleted him

Q: What did you have for dinner last night?
soup , ff from chickfila

Q: Look to your left. Whats there?
my bulletin board

Q: What website do you visit the most?
probably hotmail and myspace

Q: Do you have plants in your room?
in my living room 1 peace lily that is going strong right now

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
my head!!!

Q: What city was your last taxi cab ride in?

Q: What's your favorite starbucks drink?
hot chocolate, or a lattee probably

Q: Recent time you were really upset?
last night

Last person you..
1. Saw: my boss going into a meeting
2. Hugged: Linda/Kevin
3. Shopped with: myself last night!
4. IM: Monte
5. Song you listened to: Beck AGAIN (sorry Im hooked)
6. What are you doing now: uh, this survey!
7. What are you doing tonight: tanning, taking a nap, going to church
LinkLeave a comment

This Journal feels like a stranger [May. 16th, 2006|12:11 pm]
[Current Mood |fullfull]
[Current Music |Stevie Wonder]

I haven't posted anything in a while and I really don't know what to say now.
But Im eating lunch (actually stuffing my face)
and wantd to update while I had the chance.
Things are going pretty well. Getting close to matthew's date of leaving/flying to his dad's for the summer.
I know he is getting excited, but Im really not ready for him to leave.
I use to say I can't wait for the break, but Im not even ready for that. Of course I get frustrated with him at times, but he is growing up so fast, and I feel like I hate missing out anything that is going on in his life. But I know I shouldnt be selfish and I know he needs to spend time with his father.
I have been so busy traveling and singing with the group..I feel like I haven't had the chance to really enjoy being at my house and being lazy. So when I am at my house and I have nothing to do but clean (and who wants to do that??) I lay on my couch and be lazy!!
I am in the process of re doing my fasfa and trying to figure out what school I want to go to. I have applied or have looked at Spartanburg Tech, USC of upstate and Holmes Bible College. I really want to teach, but I really want to do the christian education/ministry thing too.
But Im praying about it and I have this summer to figure out what to do.
Matthew has his 5 K reception next monday and then 2 early dismissals and then he is out of school for the year. Its unbelievable!
Then he leaves for his dad's.
I guess we are going to ATL for memorial day weekend and head back and stop at dollywood in Piegon Forge to meet up with some friends.
Im going back to work like a good girl.
<3 les
Link1 comment|Leave a comment

Birfday [Apr. 12th, 2006|03:31 pm]
[Current Location |WORK]
[Current Mood |happyhappy]
[Current Music |Hope]


Go to Wikipedia and look up your birth day (excluding the year). List three neat facts, two births and one death in your journal, including the year.
So for August 17th


1427 - First band of gypsies visits Paris, according to an account of the citizen of Paris

1953 - Addiction: First meeting of Narcotics Anonymous in Southern California.

1998 - Monica Lewinsky scandal: US President Bill Clinton admits in taped testimony that he had an "improper physical relationship" with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. On the same day he admits before the nation that he "misled people" about his relationship.


1786 - Davy Crockett, American frontiersman and soldier (d. 1836)
1960 - Sean Penn, actor, director


(I was born in 1982, but I couldn't find one n 1982)

1983 - Ira Gershwin, American lyricist (b. 1896)
Link2 comments|Leave a comment

Tegan and Sara [Mar. 30th, 2006|11:01 am]
I really like their music

Link2 comments|Leave a comment

Should I share this with my man? [Mar. 30th, 2006|09:46 am]
[Current Music |Tegan and Sara]

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch: 9
Quality Time: 8
Words of Affirmation: 6
Acts of Service: 4
Receiving Gifts: 3


Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz
LinkLeave a comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]